My stupid boring life as an underpaid worker
by mizz-sandra
Summary: There is nothing good about being underpaid and slaved at work. Would be an everyday life kinda set up... Okikagu, probably with HijiMitsu on the side... Yes I plan to make you laugh your ass out but be amazed at how well written the story is..Not really. As for updates- "I promise NO SUCH THING!" author then gets shot. R&R Rated T for words,. mostly words then death threats...
1. Prologue

Hey ... ummmm,. sooo,.. been sooooo long! haha! sorry, I just graduated collage and waiting for the board exam. Currently I am a NEET (that would be not in emploment, education or training) so yeah.. im basically freeloading at my parents house. Then I decided to check the fanfiction website and was surprised that their are somewhat new stories! (you see, Im pretty sure it died down a little back then) Im also surprise people are finding their way to the fics I wrote WAAAY back then... so i was somewhat happy and decided, since Im gonna be free for 1 month or soo,. why not write something? So yeah Here!

BTW, I plan to make this as a somewhat every day life kinda story, probably, This prologue is set up so i dont get lost, AGAIN in this story... like usual... i tend to forget what was supposed to be happening...

Well,without further ado,...!

( **C)Disclaimer:** Even though I finally graduated, I still dont, wont and could NEVER own Gintama!

* * *

 **Prologue**

Two Brothers: s _worn Rivals united by a cause_

* * *

Okita Sougo is one of the two sons of the chief of a renowned police task force – the _Shinsengumi_ , the other son being _Hijikata Toushiro._ The reason for the dissimilar last names is one -because they have different mothers, whom they took their last names from. And two- they would rather die than share the last name of their highly respected –in society, their elite father _Kondo Isao._ Kondo-san did not have concubines, neither did he have affairs. Both are legally his sons, but due to certain circumstances they do not get along.

Hijikata Toushiro – raven haired demon vice commander of the shinsengumi, straight-laced and strict, was the son of a simple tailor in Edo. But because of the difference in their status, Kondo could not marry his dear beloved. After years of proving their love for each other, society and his family were finally able to accept the tailor as his wife. But during her travel to deliver a finely crafted kimono, their carriage was attacked by bandits and Toushiro at the age of two was without a mother. Though devastated, he was taught to never leave things unfinished and went to deliver his mother's last work.

The receiver of the kimono was Okita-san, the daughter of a rich noble. She along with her daughter _Okita Mitsuba,_ after finding out the misfortune that befell upon the child took in Toushiro for a whole year until he was finally reunited with Kondo. Hijikata and Mitsuba became really close and inseparable. They would play together, eat together and sleep side by side. Hijikata would most often strike the local bullies with a wooden stick whenever they come too close to Mitsuba. However, at moments that Hijikata was outnumbered and would pass out from all the hits and thrashing he received, Mitsuba would step in with an iron bat while wearing an Oni mask to beat the living daylights out of them- hence the title: _the sleeping demon princess._ The next year was spent with Kondo courting the lady and the birth of Sougo.

During these times, Edo was in havoc and the shinsengumi had numerous enemies. To protect his family, they were sent to the country side. Okita Sougo had to grow up without a father. But the love of his mother and older sister made up for it. Sougo had a very good relationship with Mitsuba and a somewhat acceptable one with Toushiro. The three would often play together, such as; pin the tail on Toushi, or hide and never seek Toshi, or kick the can towards Toshi. Indeed, it was a fun childhood. The two boys would often compete in any and every ways possible. A swimming contest often ended with the two tied to a rope hanging from a tree as Mitsuba dries their clothes in a campfire. An eating contest stops once Mitsuba adds extra chili sauce into the boys food bowl. And an up all night contest would halt with Mitsuba knocking the two out with her iron bat giving them concussions.

The chaos lasted for 7 years and when it ended, Kondo was overjoyed to at last see his family again. Only to find out that his second wife had died from an illness 3 years ago. The news never reached him because no messenger who went pass Edo ever stayed alive, or at least long enough to give him the letters. All throughout the period, communication outside was cut off.

The boys went to live with their father, but Mitsuba had to stay at the Okita household. They still see each other every time they visit, but the fact that the boys no longer had their mothers or Mitsuba by their side caused them to focus on their rivalry towards each other. The two worked their way up into the shinsengumi. Never mind that they were the sons of the chief, those two had the talent and abilities to get them to their respective positions.

Hijikata grew up to be a good leader, taking over whenever Isao couldn't. He established strict rules and constructed training regimen all for the betterment of the Shinsengumi troops. Sougo was a fine swordsman, one of the best. And he imposed severe punishments towards mischief causers in the town. Simultaneously, they built up the reputation of the glorious Police Task Force – The Shinsengumi.

And this girl– Yato Kagura, standing in front of the compound gates, is nothing more but an underpaid, verbally abused, exhausted, overqualified, member of said police force enclosed in a secretarial position. Burn...

* * *

 **(A/N):** So? review if you like, t'd be most appreciated.

Ohh,. idk if you guys actually cared. But i was really bothered by the age gap =_=,. so yeah ,. toshi was born before his mom and dads relationship was acknowledge, therefore for at the age of 2 still has hijikata attached to his name . then lived with the okita for 1 year without kondo and another year with kondo then sougo was born, making the age gap 4 years...


	2. Chapter 1

I have to apologize, I totally forgot to post Chapter 1 yesterday =_=.. ha haha.. dont kill me...

Anyways Im soo happy I got some reviews, follows and faves overnight, do you know how happy your support make me to be?! EXTREMELY HAPPY!...

 **(C)Disclaimer:** No matter how many times I say it, I Do Not Own Gintama.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Just another day at the office**

All men are horrible. They are stupid, disgusting, diabolical and evil. The one who stands on top of them; the most ruthless, maniacal, and vile, is the prince of the planet of sadists – " _Okita Sougo"_.

* * *

The sun shone brightly on her porcelain white skin, the azure sky littered with cumulus clouds, a breeze passed by and ruffled her vermillion locks. The day would have been perfect! If it wasn't for the young man in black uniform, shouting a truck load of insults aimed towards her. He was holding a rolled up paper in his right hand, waving it in a reprimanding manner. He was obviously pissed, as to why? Kagura did not know, and she most definitely did not care.

"Oi! China! Can't you do anything right?" He stood in front of her, brows knotted together, eyes piercing invisible daggers at her. "These things have a ton of typos! What the hell is _'the victim was resuscitated at her arms and legs'_ , wasn't she supposed to have lacerated arms and legs!?"

"Lacerated, resuscitated what's the difference? Whatever happened to her arms and legs do not matter, she's still alive." A vein popped up the officer's temple. The brat needed to go back to high school and be taught proper English.

"What about this?! ' _The man stated to have (_ _been asleep_ _),(_ _constipation during the time of the crime_ _) been experiencing diarrhoea at the event of the murder. He was staying at (_ _a friend's_ _) his mother's basement because he has no job and is a good for nothing freeloader, drinking a (_ _can of beer_ _) carton of two months old-expired strawberry milk_.' Didn't you just change his whole alibi! No rather, didn't just change his whole life?!" Now the man seemed furious, his eyes became narrow and his nostrils were flaring. She only made it more interesting. And besides, the man was proven innocent so no harm done. It did not matter whether he had constipation or diarrhea or went to the zoo or went to the north poles.

"Well then Sadist, maybe next time you wouldn't pass down your work to other people! "

"China what are you talking about? You're part of the first division; _I'm_ the captain of the first division. I'm pretty sure it's alright for me to dump all my paper works on the desk of _MY_ secretary." Screw him, that Okita Sougo. He does nothing but lay around a vacant spot in the compound with that stupid red eye mask of his.

"Screw you! You don't deserve my chastity!" she screamed, the other officers passing by at the side whipping their heads towards the two's heated conversation.

"The word is charity! Charity! And you're getting paid so do your job right!" the first captain's frantic reply. And with that he left the area, but not before giving the other officers a – _get back to work death glare_ –

It's been a year since Kagura started working at the Shinsengumi, a long _gruesome_ year. It has always been her dream to be a police, and it has only been a year since they started accepting women as a part of the force. She, among other female co-workers was giving secretarial positions. But what Kagura really dreams of is out in the field, fighting bad guys and saving lives. Just like those on the television, albeit such shows were dramatized and exaggerated, she loved the adventure and the feeling of fulfilment. If she worked hard enough, endured the first captain's verbal harassment, and showed restraint in tying his neck and hanging him in a tree, she could very well one day be transferred to the field.

* * *

Okita Sougo was a pain in the ass. He ordered her around; nagged too much like a mother would telling her son to pick up the dirty laundry in his room. She just didn't like him, he was a total douche. During the first days of work she was determined to be the cute, loved by all, adorable little secretary in the first division. But the presence of Okita Sougo somehow negated her desire to be loved; their violent encounters gave her the nickname –The 'China beast' of the first division.

During the next weeks, she didn't even mind anymore if the other male officers looked at her with sheer terror in their eyes, practically wetting themselves at the sight of her. Apparently, only the vice commander could go hand in hand with the prince of Sadist and still live. After hearing that, she felt rather glorified about her title. It seems no one in their division can say 'No' to Okita Sougo other than her.

But internally, even with her title, she knew she was still no match for the prince. One wrong move and she could end up jobless, homeless and penniless. She just had to make sure that while she suffers, so does he.

"Kagura-chan! What are you still doing there? Put your computer to sleep, its lunch time!" A perky voice chimed. Kagura wasn't the only female employee at their division; the one who took the adorable secretary role was Tokugawa Soyo. With her straight black princess hair, smile that could melt the poles and a voice that make angels sing Hallelujah, she was the epitome of femininity.

"Wahh! Soyo-chan! I have a lot of work! Huhu!"

"Its ok Kagura-chan, I'll help you after we eat lunch." Soyo is actually an angel sent by the gods to help the poor and needy down here on earth.

"Wah! Thank you! Your heaven sent!"

Tokugawa Soyo is indeed a kind and gentle girl. Most of the Shinsengumi officers admire the young lady and some have even expressed their infatuation with letters, bouquets of flowers, or a confession under the shinsengumi cherry blossom tree. Soyo turns them down but their love for the princess still remains. Most times Kagura would act as her body guard, sending chills down her stalkers spines. If anyone came too close, hell would befall upon them as Kagura's round house kick was said to sent you to a coma for 3 weeks.

"Ahh! Soyo-chan brought a bentou for me?"

"Because it's I bought too many ingredients today." Unlike others who stay at the compound, Soyo goes home to her condo. She has a brother but she lives alone.

"Must be tough living alone?" Yato Kagura has no family. Yes she has a brother, but she hasn't seen him for years, not since after their father left whom she also hasn't seen for years. The feeling of abandonment has left her to believe that she no longer has a family. And even if they somehow miraculously came back, she would rather make a camp fire and roast the two than accept them back to her life.

* * *

 _Mosquitoes_. She hated mosquitoes. It makes you want to rethink the first lessons of science class during third grade. The one about the life cycle of a mosquito, it's just a lie the adults came up with because they could not explain how mosquitoes are able to reproduce aerially and born as full fledged blood suckers. That or they have the ability to teleport to wherever place Kagura was, stalking her and seeking her blood.

It didn't even have to be this way! She didn't have to be walking the cold dark streets of Edo if it weren't for that Sadistic bastard. It was past midnight, as the unlucky secretary of the first captain, she was given paper works more than what she usually had to deal with. The lazy ass captain was procrastinating the whole day so now they had to rush the reports due tomorrow morning. TOMORROW! MORNING! ' _I guess this is what you call over time_ ' to add more to her irritation, the little devil sent her on an errand.

" _Hey China, go buy something in the convenience store for me"_

" _I'm not buying your condoms"_

" _W-what!? The hell are you talking about, I still have two stacks here."_

" _You had that two stacks since last month Sadist, are you having trouble getting it up?"_

" _Go buy me a can of coffee and some pocky you damn unfeminine she-beast"_

" _YOU WANT ME TO BUY WHAT AT AN UNGODLY HOUR OF 1 IN THE MORNING!?"_

" _Do it or else I will have you suspended for disobeying your commanding officer in addition to the sexual insults."_

" _THEN SUSPEND ME!"_

" _You won't get paid"_

" _I'm sorry how many did you want again?"_

That damn Sadist jerk, using her lack of finance into following his commands, how dare he send an innocent defenseless female out in the streets like this! He should go bald; she curses him to go bald. What if a serial killer comes up behind her and stabs her 30 times with a swiss-army knife? Then the children of Edo would make an eerie rhyme about her death.

 _Kagura, kagura walking down the street_

 _Stabbed by a murderer 10 x 3_

 _He swung to the left, He swung to the right_

 _He swung to the middle and across three times_

Not bad, pretty catchy. She was starting to enjoy the little song in her head when she heard footsteps behind her. The sound drew closer, and closer, louder as it comes. A shadow at her peripheral vision, ' _OH GOD_!' she knew it! It was real, she was going to be murdered right here right now! _'Mother! Father! I'm sorry to have been a bad child, in the next life I wish you were still my parents, and that I wish father was not bald! I want to apologize to my big brother for eating that last slice of pizza in the fridge! I'm sure that constituted as a reason why he left the house! I'm sorry for all my sins, I repent, repent!_ '

"Hey.."

 _He is touching my shoulder!_ "WAHHHH!"

"What the hell are you freaking out about? It's me!" Huh? Wait, it's not her thirty times stabbing swiss army knife serial killer? Sadist? Sadist! Is that really him? She has never felt so happy to see his ugly mug before. God! He scared her to death! He could've been some axe murderer! She could have karate chopped his face, then he would've dropped dead on the ground! She would have needed to hide the body in the river, book a plane to Alaska and change her name to Olga!

" _Do you even know how COLD it is in Alaska_!?"

"What? –anyways you were taking too long so I came looking for you."

Ahh, well well well... Looks like even pretty faced black hearted demons can get guilty, Okita Sougo you're on your way to golden redemption!

"Hurry up!,... you slow retarded china harpy"

 _I take it back, I take it all back..._

* * *

 ** _(A/N):_** Again, Please read and review! Fave and follow , because I get a boost in confidence whenever you guys let me know that you enjoy reading my story and -that you don't mind my procrastination-

Again, UPDATES- I promise no such things!-


	3. Chapter 2

Hey guys! do you know how happy your reviews made me? SKY HIGH! emegesh ! I really wanted to update within a week but a lot happened, a new member of the family was added. too busy taking care of her.. Anyways, I did this because you made me so happy :) This may not as be much funny, i dunno,. i have a lot of things on my mind,.. one of them is the fact i havent been able to read manga recently ... anyways

 **(c) Disclaimer:** No one owns Gintama.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Just another day as the captain**

 _Women are vain, devious, wicked and dangerous creatures. But there is one who ranks at an entirely different level; the gluttonous, loudmouthed harpy, china beast of the Shinsengumi –"Yato Kagura"._

* * *

 _Hearts_ –that was the only word that came to Okita Sougo's mind as he stared at the pink envelop sitting prettily at Yato Kagura's computer desk. He had purposely woken up early to finish his duties, and decided to start his day by piling up files and reports on his secretary's desk. What he didn't expect to find was a pink, very offending envelop which somewhat strangely resembled a finely crafted handmade love letter.

Denial– 'Impossible', there was no way that – _that-_ batshit crazy banshee of doom would ever get a love letter, or more so an admirer. The odds of someone liking the china beast was like getting the winning lottery ticket, or surviving a 100m dive in a volcano, or a bald guy growing his hair back–a chance of one in a million.

Anger– so if that's true, then those bastards are just probably playing with her? Lifting her hopes up and then laughing at her once she hits the cold hard dirt filled ground? Their impure desire to humiliate china in such a deceitful manner is unforgivable and that these bastards deserve a one way ticket to Hijikata's hellish training routine.

Depression– What should he do? There is nothing he can do... he has no rights to meddle into the romantic relationships of his subordinates. Even as the captain of the first division, why does he feel so helpless? What would be the point of it all anyway? Would china be better off feeling joy after reading the letter then sadness after the revealing of the truth or should he throw away the letter and never let the girl feel the ecstatic experience of falling in love and regret.

Acceptance– No, it's going to be okay. China is stronger than what she looks like and her will is even stronger. These things happen inevitably and people must go through such challenges and be melded into a person who can surpass and triumph in the future.

– Okita Sougo, captain of the first division of the Shinsengumi has just gone through four stages of grief in over 5 minutes.

"Oi, Sadist you're up early!" speak of the devil. "Oh, what were you staring at?" she moved close towards her desk to inspect whatever it was that was fascinating enough to have caught the eyes of the Prince of the planet of Sadist. "Ugh! Another one? They keep mistaking my desk for Soyo-chan's, must be from a different division. You know the last time my desk was littered with flowers, not just any flowers, Roses! All kinds of color as well! My computer smelled like a garden for a week. I think I developed allergies after that. W-what's with that look?"

Okita Sougo, Age 24 is currently grieving his dying brain. _"Did I actually felt pity for china back there? Did she just unknowingly humiliate me! Am I losing my sadistic touch? Its all definitely china's fault."_ He has mastered the phases of grief so much it only took him 5 seconds that time."Hello? Earth to sadist? Stop staring blankly into space or else people will think you're an idiot."

"China when are you gonna grow up?"

"When are you gonna get a girlfriend?" tsk.. Her mouth was automatic, like the machine that throws the balls at a batting centre. "Maybe you should take it easy on your _'alone time'_ and start taking proper sleep at night. With that, you no longer have to take naps during the day!"

"China I'll sue you for this type of harassment. Anyways, so the letter is not yours?"

"Eh?! Did you actually think that letter was mine? Hah! Serves you right for piling your workload on my desk again." She chuckled exhibiting a wide toothy grin.

"You don't want to work? I'll take that indolence of yours and turn you to a workaholic. And what kind of idiot even in their right mind would think that you of all people would receive a love letter?"

"Wha- I'm not indecent! And I get them too you know!"

"I said Indolence! Not Indecency! Are you doing that on purpose?!" He snorted "You have no sex appeal, you dress like my grandmother, and your face looks like that of a housewife with 9 children and is that this morning's breakfast I see stuck between your teeth?" Okita Sougo was a demon whose mouth needs not any brakes.

"Jerk, basking in the glory of your new found reputation as a male reproductive organ I see." At least the china girl had hers on filter. "You kiss your mother with that mouth of yours?" His eyes twitched. She winced at the realization; Sougo no longer had a mother, but neither did she.

"Listen China, in this world there are three kinds of people. Those who follow the rules, those who go by no rules and those who make the rules; I am the last. I do what I want, and you do as I say, finish those reports by lunch." Despite Sougo's tough exterior, he was soft and vulnerable in the inside. He was like a snail, a gross slimy squishy snail that protects himself from the cold harsh outside world.

* * *

Mother,... His mother was the daughter of a rich noble. She was kind, intelligent and caring. She was gentle, the type to never lash out on servants no matter what mistakes they did. She was understanding and compassionate, she treated everyone in the household as family even a dog like Hijikata was treated as her own son. How could such a beautiful and graceful woman have such demons for children, one would never know. But all things had their flaws, hers was her bad health. She was sickly and no amount of medicine could cure her. Her time had ended.

Sougo was nothing like his mother. He was not kind, nor caring or loving. He found it hard to understand mistakes and forgive faults. He found it hard to see Hijikata – the dog who stole his own sister from him even before he was born– as a person. He was strong and sturdy, a murderer who sought out the blood of his enemies. Yet he was a splitting image of her, from his red crimson eyes down to his dusty flaxen hair. Would it hurt to be like his mother? Would it hurt to forgive? Would it hurt to treat Hijikata as a per– . Would it hurt to ... love?

Lunch was just about over and he was tired of lollygagging on this cherry tree branch. Maybe it was about time to check on the vermillion haired harpy and see how much work was left. After all there is no way she finished all of those paper works. He walked through the corridors and stopped right at the door when he heard two voices.

"Hey... Soyo-chan? How do you become pretty?" The girl asked, hesitantly. Not sure if she wants to take it back or to just bury herself alive. Kagura had the reputation of being a beast, a girl with monstrous strength. She could break an ordinary man's legs if she was ordered to do a lap dance. Her digestive organs were are wide as the universe, she could eat thrice a mans usual meal and still have room for desert. When she was a child, she did not fuss about boys, or dresses or make up. She was left alone at an early age. Sakata Gintoki took her in. He became her foster parent. The silver perm was lazy, and didnt pay the rent on time. But she had fun with him and Shinpachi, a boy who worked at the Odd Jobs shop. Shinpachi was like a brother to her, as the Yorozuya trio she felt at home. She didn't feel the need for anything else. When Gin-chan decided to kick her out -It was just a joke but still he was right, she couldn't stay there forever- she had to find a new job. That is when she decided to pursue her long time dream.

"Kagura-chan! You're already pretty! You don't need to receive a lot of letters, just believe in yourself!" Soyo was the type to believe in inner beauty and that every person is special, unique. One cannot compare someone with another and say they are better. "Thanks"

"Now, can we please go eat? Lunch break is almost over." So they skipped lunch to finish his stupid reports. He wasn't aware he had a conscience until now. "Go ahead, I'll catch up, I still have a few more to finish."

"Are you sure? Alright then, make sure you get to eat ok?". Kagura? Not eat? That has never been heard of."Yep!" Maybe Sougo has been a little too hard, even on china. Everyone feared him, everyone obeyed him, but only china made him laugh, or feel humiliated. If you think about it, only china shared the same sadistic passion as him when it came to torturing other people either physically or mentally. They had polar opposites of each other in some ways yet had so much in common in other areas that it scared him, it frightened him, and it made him feel like an idiot.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to be like his mother, just once.

"Hey china! Why don't you go to lunch, I'll finish the rest." The china girl whipped her head at the sound of his voice, teary eyed she stood up and faced him. "Sadist,.. you jerk! You come back now when I finished typing the last sentence!? Take this! _Horyaa_!" With a jab of her elbow to his stomach and a knee to his groin she bolted out of the room. The words S-U-C-K-E-R, ringing in the corridor halls. Now he'll never get a girlfriend, If he becomes a defective product china is gonna have to take responsibility.

It turns out it _would_ hurt him to be just like his mother...

* * *

 **(A/N):** R &R if you may,. Updates are still a cloudy vision as usual. But hey soon you'd be tired of my stupid weird humor and drop me like a new born baby elephant and I wouldnt write fics out of pressure anymore.! Ha.. ha..ha... I apologize. please keep supporting this useless author...


	4. Chapter 3

Wow! I'm so amazed that people are still finding and reading my stories and it gives me so much joy! I've been busy with work so I hadn't had the time to write anything at all.

But alas! I'm jobless now! I should probably go look for a new job... nahh...

Anyways, thanks for all the favourites, follows and reviews! You make me so happy!

 **(c) Disclaimer** : I do not own Gintama

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **When love comes knocking at your door**

 **You punch it straight in the face**

 _Why stop smoking if you're living a life with a sadist and a beast. Either way, they could all cause cancer._ _‒"_ _Hijikata Toushiro"._

* * *

Hijikata Toushiro- demon vice commander of the Shinshengumi, eldest son of the chief of the most successful and respected police task force in Edo, is now faced with a dreadful, very dangerous task that could cause him his life‒ A visit at the Okita estate.

Hijikata is a man of order; he liked to plan out every move. So when his respected gorilla of a father asked him to check up on Mitsuba-dono, he needn't think twice to reserve a ride at a train 2 weeks early.

He was also a man of caution. He did as best as he could to keep other members of the Shinsengumi from finding out that he was taking a trip to see Mitsuba. Just imagine the mockery he'd receive once his men find out that he fears not a serial murderer, a terrorist bomber, or a pizzeria animal mascot hell bent on stuffing you down a mechanical exoskeleton- but instead shits his pants over a woman. But then again, they've never met one like Mitsuba.

He was also a man of truth. He didn't like being pretentious. There was no point in acting brave when you are this close to ringing the entrance bell that once housed a sadistic prince and the sleeping demon princess.

Inhale... Exhale...

He was shitting himself nervous. It was like this every fucking time. He had half a mind to tuck tail, book a flight to the savannah and shake hands with Simba. The other half was itching to ring the entrance bell, greet Mitsuba with a kiss on the cheek and a wide smile on his face.

Sigh... He didn't really _'have'_ to do this you know? He could have sent one of his men to check up on the lady. His ape of a father never mentioned he had to go himself. He could have written a letter instead! His hairy-assed father never said anyone _'actually_ ' had to see her face to face!

He was ready to make up another excuse with his nicotine fed brain cells when a lone foot came pivoting down his spine.

"Stop insulting kondo-san and ring the goddam bell!" said a very much annoyed Okita Sougo, who just happened to also be asked by their father to check up on his dearest sister, something Hijikata isn't so happy about.

"Goddam it Sougo! Who do you think you're kicking in the back?"

"Ahn, sorry I thought you were a door mat. You've been standing there inanimately for the past 15 minutes that I even mistook you for an ornament." He retorted, a deadpanned look plastered on his face.

It was true though, people where staring and the house help were starting to debate on whether they would wait for him to ring the bell or just pretend they didn't notice him and open the gates in the guise of having an errand out, pretend to be surprised by the visit and let their masters in.

"Hn, fine I'm ringing it." Finally! A maid hurried letting the guests in while the others scramble to return to their previous task. "Welcome back!" She greeted as she led them to the inner room.

If Toushi was scared then now he felt terrified. As if dying was a better option. He would rather be stomped on by a heard of wildebeest or get abducted by a group of Joui patriots than make a huge mistake which could upset the lady in question. _'Did I get enough gifts, is my clothes all wrinkled? Do I smell alright?'_

"Hijibaka-san, we are visiting my sister. Not going on your engagement meeting. Stop acting like you're a prepubescent twelve year old about to go on your first date."

A giggle echoed in the room. "Oh? I was hoping for the latter one though" Mitsuba smiled, dressed in an elegant sakura patterned kimono. Her hazelnut hair was held in an updo using a pink flowery pin, some stray hairs framing her delicate face. "Sister, don't encourage him." The younger man replied bitterly.

Through the years Mitsuba has grown into a fine lady. She was pretty as a little girl back when they used to play tag with each other but now she has blossomed into a beautiful flower destined to be Lady Okita.

"Ohh Sou-chan," she smiled seeing as how nothing has changed. She directed her eyes to Hijikata, she smiled in that sweet angelic way which only she can do, or at least that's what Toushi thinks. "Nice to see you again Mitsuba, these are for you! I handpicked them just... for... you.." He felt his cheeks burn; he wasn't supposed to say that. It was already embarrassing enough to spend 4 hours at the flower store muttering to his self whether or not the flowers he picked were good enough. The owner was this close to kicking him out of the shop due to the eerie repetition of some sort of curse or mantra. It was bad for business.

"Hijikata-san, please stop poisoning my sister with your gifts and words." He stared at the pair as they seemed lost in each other's eyes. Well at least it seems like it, though reality was one is recalling his horrible experience at the flower shop while the other is mentally debating whether she should put said flowers in the right stand or the left stand of her bedroom. Either way it was sickening for the Sadist prince to watch.

They continued to catch up while simultaneously touring the estate, remembering moments from their childhood. "Ahh! Look, remember how the two of you went fishing in the coy pond? You two were having a contest on who could catch a fish first." Mitsuba giggled as she stared longingly at the coy swimming about.

"Ehh? Was there something like that Sougo?" Toushi whispered to the man beside him. "Dunno, all I remember is hanging upside down the sakura tree with a fishing line tied around my feet. Hijikata san was unconscious on the opposite branch." He shrugged.

"How about that one?" Mitsuba pointed to a stone shrine. "Remember how you tipped it over while we were playing hide and seek? Oh Mother was so worried about you Toushi." She looked at him, a sad expression on her gentle face.

"Ehhh!? Sougo? Was there ever such a moment like that?" Hijikata half screamed half whispered. "Dunno, all I remember was trying to dig you a grave behind the shrine while you ranted about how the resident monk would get mad if he saw me. Ah! Now that I remember it, the shrine did get knock down when Sister tried to climb it and it fell on you. Your head was so red I just thought that I needed to dig faster."

"Oh! This bridge! We used to call it the demons bridge." Mitsuba slowly ran her nimble fingers on the bamboo rail. "Hmmm... Can't seem to remember why though." She looked up, her lips forming a small pout. "Do you know why?"

"Ahhh, isn't that because we would run towards here whenever you'd chase us with your iron bat and Oni mask. This is the point where you usually catch up and beat us half to dead because we refuse to drink our milk. Hijikata-san would always get caught first leaving him to be the sacrifice as I try to run away in vain. "

"EEEEHHHHH!? SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS?!" By this time Toushi was in a state of panic and disbelief.

"Has the multiple concussions you receive over the years caused you even more brain damage?"

When the sky turned dark, they all decided to head in for dinner. The room was very traditional looking with hay colour tatami mat accommodating their tired feet. The Okita house was serving a feast. It's not often that the young masters would visit together. Hijikata and Mitsuba were seated near each other while Sougo was on the opposite side of the wide table.

Okita Sougo has done nothing but mope as Hijikata received all the attention from his sister. ' _Ahhh, I'll just stab this fish with a fork and pretend it's Hijikata'._ The two were being too lovey dovey it was making him sick. _'Are they newlyweds?!'_

 _"_ Toushi say ahhh..." And that's when he snapped. The S-prince has had enough!

"Goddamit! Are you a bunch of newlyweds? Stop this gross act! It's disgusting! I've had enough I'm going to bed!"

And that was when _she_ snapped...

"S.A.D.I.S.T ! ! !"

 _Huh?_

"ORYAH!" A battle cry, then a fist buried itself deep in Sougo's face. "I'm the one who has had enough! Are you a child? You've done nothing but mope and complain all day long! You Sis-con! You sick freak! Stop being all jealous and let them be! The reason why we're here is to make your sister happy! And if she's happy talking to Mayora then you should goddam let her do as she please!" A very pissed vermillion haired China spat out. She was panting furiously trying to catch her breath.

"Ehh? China? How long have you been here?"

"The hell sadist!? I've been here from the start!" That's right, poor kagura has been with them from the very beginning. She was there when Hijikata was mentally preparing himself to ring the bells to the Okita Estate. She was apologizing to the bystanders and maids for the scene they cause.

She was there when Mitsuba received the flowers. Putting her surprising inhumane strength she was the one carrying most of the flowers, chocolates and boxes kimonos. If that was one of the main reasons she was accompanying them then she better get paid big time!

She was there as they recalled Hijikata's traumatic childhood in which he couldn't remember 90% of. She handed Toushi some tissue as his tears of realization glided through his cheeks. It made her realize that Mayora also had it rough. Well, living with the sadist and the demon princess isn't always going to be rainbows and unicorns she guessed.

And she was there as Sougo menacingly stabbed every food the house-helps served. Fishes were brutalized and carrots were murderized. A string of incomprehensible curses escaping his mouth as an isolated pea found itself being grounded to dust.

She was asked to come with them but it seems the Sadist forgot her presence. Somehow, that felt unforgivable. She was being ignored, as if invisible. Kagura was now fuming at the same time very embarrassed. She was planning on letting everything slide and just get this over with. But the Sadist was being so out of character that it just pissed her off. And that didn't sit well with her. ' _Calm down Kagura, think of the overtime pay.'_

Her kick did knock some sense into the him. She was right. He was being childish and to a certain degree, pathetic. How could he have stoop so low. Her sister was happy and frankly, that is all that should matter. He could always just try to kill Hijikata when they return back to the compound.

"Ohh Sou-chan... I'm sorry if you felt that I haven't been giving you enough attention. I was too excited to finally see Toushi again. After all, you tend to visit me every month." She said feeling guilty.

"It's not your fault Sister, I'm sorry for being immature. Please try to enjoy the remaining moments." Sougo smiled genuinely, an act kagura thought he was incapable of.

* * *

The sky has turned dark and became a playground for the twinkling stars. A cool breeze blew and a chill ran through his skin. Sougo sat at the edge of the wooden floor- his feet dangling from the elevated platform, his view directed at the coy pond.

"Today sure was a blast huh?" The sudden presence of another being jolted him out of his reverie. It was china. A yukata wearing china. A hair-not-in-a-bun china. A freshly out of the bath China. He suddenly had to swallow a lump in his throat. "Not sure you should be out here right after a bath Sadist. I mean, even idiots catch colds you know?"

"Hmph., not sure about the blast part. Hijikata's head didn't explode after all." He motioned for her to sit next to him. A gesture he was surprised of doing. Nevertheless china followed to show him she planned to be civilized tonight.

"No., but yours did." a smirk dancing on her lips.

"Ahh! Why did you come here again?"

"Well aren't you a _fun-guy? Yis?"_

"Did you just call me a unicellular microorganism?"

"Relax sadist, I brought tea and onigiri, courtesy of your sister!" She slipped the warm tea cup to his cold hands.

"Where's the onigiri?"

"I ate it..." Tsk, typical china. Not one to pass up free food. He let the warm drink slide down his throat.

"Thanks,... for back there. " He murmured

"Huh? HAAAH!? Did I hear that wrong or is your drink just poisoned."

"I'm not repeating myself stuuuuuuuupid."

"Hahaha! Geez sadist I was messing with you." She didn't really expect him to repeat himself, but it was just too funny. The great prince of the planet of sadist— thanking her for knocking some sense into him. Literally. "You know, your sister is kind. I wish my brother was similar. My brother was somewhat harsh, especially with martial arts training. He would always push me to polish my skills and become strong. Sometimes I wish we could just sit back and eat some watermelons yah know?"

"Yeah? I bet he did, culturing you like the bacteria of which you are."

"Stop it already." Civilized kagura, try to be civil. "But you're lucky you still get to see her."

Sougo stared at her. Her blue eyes were glistening. Her lips were red from being chewed on, a mannerism she had when she felt frustrated. Her cheeks were stained pink from the cold, and her hair was dripping wet, droplets falling to her neck escaping into the valley beneath her yukata. ' _Ahh, that's a pretty dangerous thought there.'_

"Hey don't worry if I was related to you, I'd probably want to avoid seeing your mug every fucking day as well!"

"Sadist you jerk!" Enough about being civil! This is war! This is sparta!

She lunged forward trapping him underneath. She figured he's taken enough hits for the day and decided to grab the sides of his stomach and tickle him to death. They were both laughing uncontrollably till he caught her hands and forced them to settle on either side of his face, her palm flat on the wooden floor.

When their laughter died down, he only just realized the predicament they've landed themselves upon. Her face framed with a couple of dangling hair was inches away from his, eyes half lidded. A faint scent of vanilla and strawberries wafted towards him. He was holding her hands firm at the side of his head, her chest heaving up and down from the lack of air. Her legs pressed on either side of his body, her yukata tousled, and she was sitting directly on his—

"You should probably stop that." He said not sure to which he was referring to.

"Hmm why?"

"I just know it will stand up." He knew exactly which he was referring to.

"Stand?"

He unceremoniously threw her on her sides and stood up. "Oww, are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah. Bathroom..."

* * *

(A/N): Annnnd done! I was going for a more serious with fluffs and etc etc... have no idea what I just did. Did I lose my touch in writing? Its been a while, I hope this wasnt trying too hard and stuff. Well anyway, reviews are highly appreciated as always! actually I get the urge to write whenever I read your reviews! (Its just an urge though, doesnt necessarily mean I'll write anything.)


	5. Chapter 4

Hi guys! thanks for the reviews! I swear I really appreciate it.

This one kinda is, hmmmmm... how to I say it, well lets just say Sougo is coming to terms with his feeling. Or something like that? anyway enjoy this lowly authors update!

(C)Disclaimer: I do not own GINTAMA!

* * *

"Roses are red, Violets are blue

I want you dead, Buy me sukonbu!"

* * *

It was a fine morning at the Shinsengumi compound. A few men huddled up together talking in awe about how the demon vice commander suppressed a group of patriotic terrorist from causing trouble during a meeting of the ministry and well-known nobles with minimal to no amount of casualties. Some can be seen running around with stacks of paper towering their heads, fatigue heavily visible beneath their eyes as they hurried towards the chief's office.

Let's not forget the routinely morning banter of the first division captain Okita Sougo and his division secretary Yato Kagura.

"Oi you! Can't you write a decent report? Who the hell was _getting it on_ with the suspect?" The prince of sadists glared at his subordinate.

"Ehhhhh? But it was a chase." Kagura countered, defending her choice of words on said report.

"Then say so in the report! Don't make me sound like some kind of pervert!"

"Ahhh? But aren't you?" She said innocently. Her eye lashes fluttering, eyes glossing from the morning sunlight. She bent forward a little, looking up at the young captain trying to emphasize her point.

 _'Ahhn, cute_ '

"Haaaaaaaah? What the hell! Why are you blushing?! You sicko! Who have you been molesting! I'm reporting you to the police!" Kagura accused, disgust written all over her face. If the division captain admits to molesting someone, then she'd destroy the pervert right then and there.

"We are the police! Dammit china, fix this one after lunch." He cursed. This is what he gets for skipping breakfast. He's becoming delusional to the point of thinking that kagura's name and the word _cute_ belonged to the same sentence.

It's been going on for days now, weeks really. Lately he has been seeing the china beast in a new light. Nothing has changed about her; her crude personality stayed the same, her nose picking habit hasn't left yet, her insubordination towards the first division captain remained, her rude condescending judgmental blue eyes, her smooth white porcelain skin, those silky soft vermillion locks—

Stop. Right. There.

This is what he meant by _'seeing china in a new light'_. Nothing has changed in regards to her; it's him that's the problem. China is still china but somehow– not china?

Does that make sense?

It's like the gods are playing a nasty trick on his eyes. If they wanted to play a game they should have just blinded him instead of having him see these strange revolting illusions while looking at china. Just the other day, he almost got intimate with a tree when it sprouted out of nowhere as he ogled china in their new _'summer uniform_ '. The women wore a black skirt which is about 5 inches above the knee, partnered with black stockings and a pair of 3 inched high heels. The torso is covered with a white short sleeved button-up shirt. There is no required hair style but that day china chose to put her bright vermillion locks in a casual messy bun show casing her nape‒ how scandalous. He felt miserable at the fact that Yamazaki had to tell him to _look where he was going_.

"Oi sadist! If you want this report done fast you could try helping a little" she whined. Her butt was itching from sitting on the chair for a long time. There is a fine line between working dutifully and being bossed around by a slave driver.

"That's captain of the first division to you, when do you plan on giving respect to your superiors?" He inquired, distracting her from her previous complaint.

"I give respect not because you're at a higher position or that you deserve it but because I'm well educated and a well mannered human being."

"Which part of you is well mannered?"

"Exactly! Which is why I don't give respect, dammit!" She said as she stuffed sukonbu in her mouth. This girl's logic is unfathomable.

"When are you going to stop eating that trash?"

"When are you going to stop being complete garbage?" She retorted, chewing on her favourite snack. It was a good thing her slave driving superior wasn't strict when it comes to eating food while working. If she was working under Hijikata she'd probably get an earful. Maybe there are some perks to working for this dumbass, no matter how minimal it was.

He drew closer. She was typing too viscously at the keyboard as if she was fighting a bloody war with Cao Cao that she didn't notice him come near. He caught a whiff of vanilla mixed with the stench of sukonbu.

"I-am-not-garbage—"

 _Groooowl~_

Did the smell of vanilla made him hungry because he would rather drown in the Pacific Ocean, mauled by a bear or play the ukulele than think that it was actually the smell of sukonbu that made him hungry– or maybe china.

"The fuck sadist, do you want to eat me or something?!"

 _You have no idea_...

"Here eat this instead" she shoved a handful of the surely poisonous substance in his mouth, covering it with her hand to mute his protest. After struggling he finally broke free from her hold.

" _Cough_ _cough_ — what the hell china!" Suddenly he didn't feel so good. His head swirled and his innards twirled. His vision blurred and soon he found himself passing out, the darkness eating away at his consciousness.

* * *

She typed away at the keyboard of the computer, her nimble fingers lightly touching the surface of the black square keys, the tapping sound resonating with the beating of his heart. Her cerulean blue eyes fixated at the LED screen, light shining onto them making her eyes glitter delightfully. Her brows knotted in full concentration, the delectable curve dancing below her forehead. Her cheeks flushed from the heat of the sun seeping through the windows, a bead of sweat trickling down her temple caressing her down her jaws and shying away on her neck. Her chapped lips formed a pout, glossing with saliva as she licked them wet. How he dreamed for those same lips, how soft are they against his own. How they would feel roaming around his face, his neck down his clavicle onto his chest.

Those pink cherry plump lips—

Okita sougo at a very young and youthful age was poisoned and is about to die.

Then if this was his last breathe. Shouldn't he take the opportunity to savour her sweet mouth—

There has been a mistake. Okita sougo was not poisoned. Rather. He is simply hallucinating and is out of his god dammed mind. This is not real—

Then if this isn't reality, and that this is just a dream. There shouldn't be any harm even if he touch her lips with his—

Gah! No matter what reasoning he used, it always ended up with him wanting to kiss the china doll- slash that- beast, the china beast. That's right

He was definitely out of his mind. He knew he wasn't a good person but he was going to hell for thinking of doing shameless things to his secretary. God why?! Why do you punish him so? Sure he tried to kill Hijikata _a few_ times, sure he abused Yamazaki to his heart's content, and yes he is virtually offensive to every single human being in the compound, and of course he tried to kill Hijikata _a lot_ of times; but does that really warrant him to such a cruel vindictive punishment?

He really didn't want to go to hell in all honesty. Especially if he'd just end up meeting Hijikata there as well, because that man was definitely going back to the fiery abyssal planes he came from.

He has had enough. Why was he so insistent anyway? If this was a play by the Gods then he'd play their little game and win. He isn't the type to lose and if that's how things are going to go down then so be it. They will all go to hell along with him.

 _Sougo..._

She breathe

He gasped

 _Sougo..._

She moaned

He growled

 _China..._

china...

"Captain okita!" a frantic scream, a loud cry.

"Zaki...?" He said weakly. His vision was blurry but he could tell that the hysterical voice came from the plain officer.

"You ate some unknown substance. Most likely poison! We thought we were going to lose you!" He said crying in a very comical manner.

"Soooouuuuuugoooo! Are you okay?!" Kondo cried out. The crowd was getting bigger and it was becoming more and more painful to understand what was going on.

"How long was I out?"

"About 5 hour's maybe?" The main perpetrator answered. She was sitting at the clinic chair swiping her finger on her phone playing fruit punch samurai.

"Five fucking hours?! What the hell happened?"

"Don't strain yourself o-high-and-mighty division captain." She said grinning evilly. His head ache and her devilish grin was turning into a flirty smirk to his haze-filled eyes. What was he doing before he passed out anyways? Oh yeah, they‒ China, were writing a report.

"Hmmmm, which reminds me how's that report coming along?"

"..."

* * *

"Uwahh! It's done!" She stretched her arms above her head. She was tired.

"Took you long enough."

"Well if you helped it would have been faster!"

"Well then, I'll be taking this to Hijikata. Wait for me here" said Sougo as he sluggishly slide the door open and exited. The first division captain has been acting strange recently. How would she say it, he has been more ' _on the stupid side_ ' lately. His head is in the gutter, he's had this idiotic look on his face and he keeps injuring himself a lot. Now that she thinks about it, it's actually not that different? Maybe she's just thinking too hard. He's probably finally going into puberty or something at long last. Okita Sougo was late at a lot of things after all. He was always late waking up, late at meetings and pretty much late at maturing into adulthood‒brain cells wise. But at the same time he wasn't. He was quick to save people in danger, he could promptly sense other people's worries and concerns— he just doesn't show he cares, or really doesn't care at all— and he acts fast especially when the situation is beneficial to him. Over all he is a strange person to be with but kagura enjoys it all the same. There is no point in getting all riled up because that means giving into his sadistic pleasures.

Only a few minutes have passed and Okita Sougo has already returned.

"That was fast?"

"You think I'd actually stay at his mayonnaise infected office for long?" Not at all.

"So I can go home now right?" Relieved, she stood up readying herself.

"Of course not China, we have to wait for Hijikata to see if there are any revisions." Dejected she sat down her chair.

"Huh? Weren't you supposed to check it first beforehand so that he would be receiving the final draft?"

"That's too troublesome..."

This guy...! How long would it take before Mayora finished reading that?! They sat waiting. Not talking to each other. He looked bored not minding the silence but the suffocating atmosphere was killing her. It was too quiet for her liking. And it's strange, why isn't he talking? He's just tapping his pen on his nose like some pessimistic 3 year old who refused to play with other kids due to the fear of losing a limb while riding the seesaw.

"Hey, it's boring here." She couldn't take it anymore. "Go buy me sukonbu." She sat down the floor facing him.

"You wish China..."

"... It's weird, it's too quite!" She roared, anger slowly seeping in. _Why_?

"What?, You nervous?" He smirked

"What? No!"

"Really? Then... Let's play a _game_ to ease your boredom." He dragged the words out his mouth.

"What kind?" A wide grin started forming at his face. She shouldn't have asked.

"The Nervous Game." She gulped

"You start from the top of the head going downwards, anything goes. Originally you're supposed keep asking 'are you nervous' to the other person but since you're a little liar and I don't trust you that would be way too easy."

"Since when have I lied to you?" she retorted, hurt at the subliminal message he was implying.

"So in our game, you don't lose when you admit you're nervous. When the opponent reaches your foot without you making a noise, you win. But if you do make a noise, you lose. Loser has to do whatever the winner says." He explained.

"Like buying sukonbu? What if we both make a noise?"

"Then it will depend on which part of the body you made a noise at. The nearest to the head would be the loser."

"Like if I poked your eye and you yelled you lose?"

"Yeah, but if I pulled your hair and you screamed you lose. Simple." This seemed like a very painful game. She liked it.

Sougo inched towards her till they were sitting face to face. " _Alright I'll go first—_ "

"I'll go first! Horyaaaah!" Kagura was too excited that her hand came down at his head with tremendous force karate chopping his skull.

 _Gushuu—_! Is she trying to kill him? Is blood rushing out of his nose? Is he going to die!? He looked up at her only to see a mad grin on her face. _Shit_. He was going to die.

"Ohh? Playing tough?" Her next move consisted of her slamming her palms on both of his cheeks then squeezing them together distorting his handsome face. He would not budge, _hang in there Sougo_.

"Hmmm...let's see..." She stuck out her pinkie and thrust it hard at his vocal chords making sougo drop on all fours and choke silently. This girl was merciless. "Hey, hey now. We ain't done till you make a sound. If you don't make one soon you're going to die a quite death." Sougo was starting to regret this.

This wasn't working; she needed to change tactics if she wanted to get anything out of the Sadist prince. A muffled scream or a surprised gasp; what if... she surprised him with a gentle touch, a move he doesn't expect!

Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder—he flinched. Good it's working. She trailed her hands downwards to his pectorals. It was a good thing he wore the shinsengumi jacket or else she would have felt the loud pounding of his heart inside his chest. If the girl was feeling cheatish she could have reasoned the loud banging sound as a noise and declare that he lost.

Her hands travelled further down into his jacket pausing at his stomach. Kagura absentmindedly feeling his hard abdominal muscles rippling through her touch beneath the white long-sleeved shirt he wore. Don't they have summer uniforms?

Sougo on the other hand was so focused not to make a sound. He knew this was Kagura's tactics and he will not fall for it. Her hands lingering on his abs longer than what was supposed to be was a play by her. But she couldn't keep this up for long. China was stubborn and hated to lose, but she was still a girl. The only place she could touch next was his hip, then his knees and once she reach his foot it was home run for him already. Or so he thought—

He gasped, eyes widening as he felt China's small fingers touch the bulge in his pants. Danger signals flooded his brain and he stood up flushing at the girls crude actions.

"What the hell china!" He screamed, covering his embarrassed face with one hand and swiping away her offending ones with the other.

"What! You said anything goes?!"

"So you go about touching peoples—"

"Well that wouldn't have happened if you had just made a noise!" Is she saying he should have just lost on purpose? "Whatever sadist, your turn. Let's get this over with so you can buy me sukonbu." Is what she said but the china beast has a point, it's not over till it's over. You'll definitely loose china.

Still embarrassed by the unintentional harassment he received, he proceeded to sit in front of the sexual assaulter who had both her arms and legs crossed.

He hesitantly placed his right hand on top of her head. She made a face— _is that the best you could do?_

It irked him how she caught him off guard and now she's brimming with confidence. He touched her forehead with his right thumb, sliding it down the side of her nose to her cheek bones. He traced circles around her cheek feeling the heat increase as seconds passed by. She had a look of _'what are you playing at sadist?'_

Sougo was mesmerized at how Kagura's pale white cheeks turned a light pink. Her lips parted causing him to unconsciously to redirect his attention. He thumbed her plump glossy lips and without thinking, connected his lips to hers. It was a light touch, just a brush of his lips. He stared at her completely dazzled by how soft they felt. He continued to absentmindedly assault her lips.

On the other hand kagura was in shambles. To her, the ' _eyes half lidded'_ look Okita gave her was him saying _'Anything goes china'_. She was horrified that he would stoop so low just to win their silly game. But she would not yield; she would not make a sound!

By this time Sougo had the gall to lightly peck on her jaws then his kisses travelled to her neck. He licked a particular spot which made her shiver and decided to suck it. _'Moan for me China_ ~'

SHE WOULD NOT! This... This man! And they called her a beast?! This guy would go as far as this just to win?

Sougo's left hand held her head in place while his other smoothened their way from her lips to her neck, brushing her shoulders, briefly stopping at the side of her chest before going down to her hips, again rubbing circular patterns on the exposed skin just above the lining of her skirt. Kagura exhaled, breathless, soundless.

This man was inches away from violating her and she was letting him! All because she was too prideful and hated to lose. Was this still even a game? And he called himself a police! He should be hanged! Hanged!

The current sexual offender felt like he was dreaming, his hand moved on its own and his lips kissed with its own free will _. Ahhn_. He let a quite moan escape his lips— extremely aroused by the sight of china, trembling silently under his hands. Her eyes shut close, lips swollen pink, her neck with reddened patches, her shirt unbuttoned at the bottom end and her skirt was ruffled upwards. He was definitely going to jail for this.

Feeling exhilarated, he slipped his hand beneath her black pencil skirt, roaming on her thighs inching his way to that sweet spot both so madly aches for.

* * *

"SOUGO! What the hell is with this report?! Are you fucking with me?"

The sliding door sprang open with a furious Hijikata at the other end. He expected to find a certain sadistic bastard with his red sleeping mask lying but instead was surprised with the china girl on the floor, lying on her side head propped up with one arm and picking her nose with the other hand.

"Ahh., so-sorry. Where's Sougo?" He asked cautiously.

"Huh? Dunno, he suddenly went flying out the window at mac speed." She said casually, flicking a booger from her pinkie.

"That bastard! Trying to escape me!" Hijikata went stomping out closing the sliding door in a fit of rage.

It was true though. The moment they heard Hijikata's foot storming towards them she instantly gasped for air, lifted Sougo high up using all four limbs tossing him as far as she can out the window, injuries be damned. She then quickly fixed her clothes and donned a casual pose.

Ahh! whatever. ' _Bets are off I guess'_. Since technically they both lost.

Or does that mean they both get punishments?

* * *

(A/N): Annnnnnnnnnd done! so... tell me what you think? btw when i write stories, i usually just get the idea first. they come up anytime, like when im in the bathroom or so, then when i feel like it i write the story in my phone, bit by bit... haha... thats why it takes so long for me to update.. cuz im lazy... and it takes so long that sometimes i forget what was happenning... hahah...


	6. Chapter 5

Hello! An update after how maaaaaaany months! Thanks for reviewing and thanks for the farourites and the follows! Tell me what you think about this chapter ok?

 **(c) DISCLAIMER:** Yeah, the usual. Dont own it, cant buy it, wont steal it.

* * *

When you love something set it free

If you don't? Count to three

 _Because three seconds is all she needs to strike her fist_

* * *

One intense day at the police headquarters

"Hijikata you bastard!" A voice echoed at the hallway. A fuming Okita Sougo, Captain of the first division of the shinsengumi, marched towards the vice commanders office. His footsteps banging loudly on the creaking wooden floor alarmingly in need of repairs. A group of eyes wondering what it was this time that has gotten the young man furious, killing intent emanating from every fiber of his being.

The office door slammed open. "Its supposed to be my day off! Why do I have to perform a safety demo on a school?" The flaxen headed man barked. Its been one hell of a week! Armed robberies, attempted murders, suicidal freaks, hot summer patrols and Hijikata's diarrhea— Sougo has been busy with all these, he needed a rest! He rarely files leaves because he often slacks a lot, but this week has caused him nothing but pain; sadists, inflict pain! Not receive them! He hasn't even stayed in his own office for long, and he hasn't seen a certain vermillion haired woman for three days. Stress in all places have been building up.

"Shut up Sougo! You think you're the only one who has it hard?! With all these incidents, papers are piling up! If it was up to me, I'd be the one performing a simple demonstration at a local high school. Do you understand just how much easier that is than being buried by a pile of processed tree leaves?!" It was evident how even the vice chief was under stress. In addition, he's finally worked up the courage to take his relationship with Mitsuba to the next level, e.i. actually being able to form coherent paragraphs in the presence of the sleeping demon princess as her image descended from being an unreachable goddess to a human nobless. Recently he's been able to remember events that probably were best left unremembered.

"You shut up! I didnt ask how your day was! Im complaining why I have to deal with this shit? Surely there are others who are available!" He had everything planned out for today. He was going to wake up at eleven in the afternoon and drag the china beast to brunch, they're paying separately of course. He would then proceed to the park and use the pig as a pillow, he would ofcourse not pay for renting her the entire afternoon— whether or not she had duty today, which she does.

"Stop being childish! And do your part to make this society a better place by educating children and preventing future crimes!" Obviously thats not true because no matter what he says now will eventually fade away in the dark recesses of their peanut sized underdeveloped brains. He would only be wasting spit by trying to 'educate' the youth. If they really wanted a change to happen they should put him in charge to rule under a strict dictatorship. That way any possible rebellion will be quench before the idea even forms in their heads less they want said heads scattered on the floor. You cant really rebel if your all chained up, worked to the bones as war slaves.

"Toushi! Sou-chan! What is with all the noise?" Kondo appearing out of nowhere overhearing the young men. How could he not? His office was right next door, and the shinsengumi walls can sometimes be conveniently thin depending on the situation. "Sougo, why don't you go on a leave after this? Same goes for you Toushi! You boys need a break, but for today, finish all work so you can be merry for the next three days! HAHAHA!" The old man laughed heartedly.

A three day leave was exactly what Sougo needed, all he had to do was be over and done with this thing. But he had no idea what to talk about with a bunch of pubescent teens. "Why don't you try to address a rising problem within the society nowadays?" Was kondo-sans suggestion but he knows next to nothing with what common people are fighting against. Neighborhood underwear robbery? Extra marital affairs? The rising price of the country's staple food 'egg over rice'? It was then that he came across a certain red head he'd been wanting to see all week.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" She address the first division captain.

"Say china, your a common village high schooler right? What problems do you usually encounter on a day to day basis?" Was his casual reply.

"One— how can a high schooler be working at a police headquarters? Are you guys that desperate that you'd result to underage workers? Two—my daily crisis consist mostly of you and your ugly mug." She answered honestly as she walked towards the first division office, Okita Sougo in tow.

"Disregarding the presence of my godly features, as an ordinary midget of five foot one, what problems do you encounter in this sick society of yours?" He said, china dragging him by the arm towards his office chair.

"Perverts such as yourself." She dragged another chair and sat down, collecting the files haphazardly thrown on top of the desk and arranging them chronologically while Sougo spins on his chair 360 degrees.

"So in a broader sense, you mean the population?"

"To be specific— The population of perverts increasing due to unrestricted dissemination of pornographic materials as a result of increased urges in males during their high school years ." Were they making a thesis study or a topic for his school demo?

"So basically the main cause of chaos in the modern day society is the uncontrolled libido of these pubescent teens?"

"I don't really like sticking my nose in other peoples business but what is this about? Are you writing a journal for your fellow sex-offenders? Are you having a meeting with the board of perverts?" It could be all of the above.

"Im assigned to make the world a better place by discussing a topic that would help lessen crime rates to a local high school nearby."

Ohh, so he was thinking up of a topic then— kagura thought. "Well since we are in this lane already, why don't you do a discussion regarding women safety?"

"Like, not getting pregnant because they did it in the bathroom?" Was he speaking out of experience? Did he get pregnant because he did it in the toilets?

"Nooooo... Like, teach self defense to prevent perverts from touching them."

"Ohh like a discussion about protection and condoms so they wont get pregnant?" Did he fail to use protection back at his youth and is now trying to correct his previous mistake? Did he really get pregnant?

"Fine! Why don't you just make a discussion about pregnancy since you obviously want someone pregnant!" The china girl really should stop giving him such ideas, as if he doesn't already have enough.

"Alright lets do a practice run!" _Why?_ "Good Morning underdeveloped brats, today we are going to talk about sex—"

"You can't say that at a school!" Kagura shouted, alarmed. Just who was it that decided for this freak to corrupt the minds of a bunch of high schooler?

"—Fucking?"

"NO!"

"—Alright brats today we'll talk about intercourse!"

"What happened to your fixation about pregnancy? Its the result, not the act that your supposed to discuss!" She said, standing up and hitting his head hard. He probably had this intention from the very start. He is purposely irritating her because he enjoys seeing other people wallow in misery.

"Then how do you suggest we start?"

He said, gesturing his hand signaling for her turn to speak, not entirely serious about the whole ordeal. Kagura thought about whether or not to help this guy half-assing his work, but then felt guilty about all those kids that will be plummeting down into the first division captain's self constructed hell made specially for the victims of his sadism.

"Why don't you discuss the stages month by month?" She will at least try to lead him in the right path.

"Alright then, lets see— the first months consist of the formation of an amniotic sac. Think of it as putting a fragile egg inside a water balloon. It helps cushion the growing embryo." _Why!?_

"Shouldn't you explain the terminologies?" She doubt children would understand what an amniotic sac was, let alone how it looked like base on his description.

"Too lazy—" he waved off "—the placenta also develops around this time. It is like another mother inside your mothers belly. It feeds you and it cleans your poop." _Is that how a police officer should view mothers?!_ "The embryo is about a quarter of an inch, basically it means you can still do it and wont have to fear hitting the baby." A crumpled paper hit his head.

"At Month number two, fingers and toes start to form. The brain is well developed, and a heart beat could be felt—" _unless you're a prince from the planet of the sadist, because apparently they don't grow hearts even at the age of 24_ "—the guts and sensory organs are well on their way. It would be about an inch large and congratulations! You now have an alien looking creature growing in your womb!" _Did he just call the fetus an alien?_

"So why is this important, you may ask." _Not really_. "Well, I'm not really sure either but maybe you can still do it at this stage."

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?" At this point in time the only thing Kagura feared most was the increase of potential perverts due to his ' _teachings_ '

"You're right! One should be careful in bed, miscarriage rate is high you know?" That wasn't what she meant.

"Heading to month three; your baby can now play rock-paper- but no scissors, their ears can hear you cussing like a pirate and all parts are fully formed."

"Basically the first trimester is the period where the baby is starting to form."

"You mean to _come_ together?" No... Just, no...

"At month four, you can hear a heartbeat through a doppler—"

"A doppler is

"No one cares. The baby forms eyelids for rejecting the worlds reality, nails for clawing into the status quo, and hair to use strawberry based shampoo on. And lastly—"

"—Congratulations! Its a girl!" Kagura cheered, stamping approvals on a pile of papers ."

"What?" He said getting caught off guard.

"You know, you can now tell whether its a boy or a girl, so stop calling it twenty different weird names!"

"At month number five, the baby starts to move and is covered in all sorts of things like miniscule hair and cheese." Did he just call the vernix caseosa cheese? "Around this time the baby is most likely longer than your phalus" Just STOP!

"Month six, the skin is reddish, wrinkled and veins are visible. The baby has finger prints now so _she_ can be caught by hard working police if _she_ ever decides to commit crimes." How will a baby commit crime?

"During month seven their hearing is now fully developed and the baby will respond to your horrible shower singings, pain and light."

"Dont forget babies born prematurely at this month are more likely to survive than the earlier months" Kagura pointed out." So in short in you want to make a new baby now is the earliest time to get rid of the first one." Kagura warned the captain of sharp pen she was holding.

"At month eight, there would be more development and the baby starts to kick more foreshadowing how she will be treating you when you've outgrown your usefullness." Well that wont happen if you guide her to be an outstanding human being, now wont it?

"Last but not the least, at the ninth month the baby will continue to grow and develop. Lungs for second hand smoking, her eyes can now blink and beg for material objects, the head can now turn to say no. And she is now ready for the world! You know what that means?" the captain wagged his eyebrows towards his secretary.

"Welcome to hell?" she responded.

"It means you can finally do it again!" the division captain exclaimed, a confetti of office papers thrown in the air. Did he just ripped the report?

Shocked at her hard work literally thrown in the air, the china beast stood up anger slowly seeping in. "Thats is!" She charged at the young man sitting in his chair, both falling down to the floor, papers scattered along side them.

The door slides open to a confused Hijikata. The daze from seeing the china girl beating Sougo didnt last long as he screamed for order to return. "What the hell are you doing Sougo?! I told you to prepare for your demo which will start in an hour! "

With the newfound awareness of the vice commander's existence, Kagura Yato release her division captain from a headlock and stood up. Looking Hijikata in the eyes with strict determination she uttered the words that could possibly save countless of lives. "Vice Commander! I would like to formally request to take on the task of educating the youth of the nearby Highschool establishment in replacement of my incapacitated captain, sir!"

"Ugh! Whatever, I dont care who does it as long as someone does. I have enough problems at my hands. Sougo get up and head for the infirmary, Kagura submit your report regarding your demo within the week. Dismissed." Hijikata exited the room, his fingers massaging his temples.

"Well Sadist, see you in about four hours." she waved at the body lying on the ground.

* * *

Kagura arrived back at head quarters one and a half hour early feeling accomplished. She didnt expect for the children to be well behaved, they participated in her discussion regarding self defense and asked only necessary questions. It turned out to be a fun event. Until she saw Okita Sougo still passed out on the floor.

"Oi, did you finally kicked the bucket?" she remembered how much hell this past week has been for the captain. He hasn't gotten much sleep and today was supposedly his day off. Not that she was keeping track or anything. Has he even eaten anything yet?

Sougo woke up on the infirmary bed, the smell of coffee and onigiri filling the room. "Finally awake? I was worried I had to file charges on my self, like accidental homicide." she chimed handing over some of her stack of food.

"As long as you go to jail, thats fine by me."he accepted, sipping from the coffee mug. Heat returning to his once cold body. "Are you kidding me? Ofcourse the trial would be rigged, I'd be released and you're six feet under." she laughed that certain laugh he hasn't seen in three days. He missed it, not that he would ever say it out loud.

She had her hair tied in a messy bun,orange wisps framing her face. Her blouse was unbuttoned at the top by two, heels and stockings removed for comfort as she sat on a chair next to him. Okita Sougo being dragged by the moment, cupped the vermilion haired woman's face and gave a light peck on her cheeks. Surprised Kagura's cheeks lit pink and he burned the image on the back of his head. He moved to his hands to her jaws and caressed its way to her neck to the collar of her blouse.

"Stop screwing with me... " she mumbled, eyes downcast. "We haven't even started yet China."

"You know what I mean!" she snapped, swatting his hands away. "Stop playing around with me! How do you think I would feel!" at this point she was shouting, tears fighting to escape her.

He didnt understand what the problem was, and Kagura saw that from his confused expression. "Sadist— Sougo, do you even like me at all? Do you even know how much you're hurting me?"

Realization struck him like lightning. Does he 'like' China or was it all just lust? He couldnt respond to her question which he himself didnt know the answer. The China girl smiled at the captain, patted his head smoothing out his bed hair. "Think about it for the mean time, captain. I'll take my leave, enjoy the onigiri. I owed you that one."

* * *

 **(A/N):** So yeah, understand that love and lust are different things. Sometimes you have to know yourself how you feel before you jump into actions less someone will get hurt. Sougo's emotions are running to fast so lets slow it down for now. Hahah. Review


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